I know. I’ve been quite a lazy b**** late­ly. Win­ter is cer­tain­ly not my favourite sea­son and when the tem­per­a­ture is low, I don’t feel like going out. That’s why I didn’t have any­thing to write about. I did attend a cou­ple of plays but I have to admit, I slept through most of them and it wouldn’t have been pro­fes­sion­al to write a col­umn about some­thing I didn’t real­ly see. But after a very long and drea­ry win­ter, spring­time is back. At last, I can get to wear skirts, pret­ty lit­tle tops and attend a few shows.

I was real­ly wait­ing for­ward to see Sal­sa Cuba at the Palais des Sports, a dance show per­formed by a cast straight from La Havana. The date was writ­ten in red in my diary (yes, I have a diary and not a Palm Pilot or some­thing, call me an old thing and I’ll slap you) and I spent the two weeks before the show rehears­ing my best Glo­ria Este­fan lines, from “Dr Beat” to “Mi Tier­ra”. I could say “Sé que nue­stro amor es ver­dadero” (I know that our love is real) in a sin­gle breath and I was think­ing of bring­ing a lit­tle flask of Cuba Libre at the show so I could feel like I’m a real Cuban lady. I was eager to sit in the first rows so I could get some litres of Car­ribean sweat all over my face. Unfor­tu­nate­ly, the show was can­celled for some unknown rea­son ¡ Qué pena !

Of course, I was sad but as the sun came back into our skies, a very old friend returned to the face of Earth, or at least, in front of the buf­fet. Did I ever tell you about French actress Katia Tchenko? Her career spans four decades and include such films as Mon curé chez les nud­istes, L’Emir préfère les blondes, Le mille pattes fait des cla­que­ttes and most impor­tant­ly Avec quoi soulèves-tu l’édredon. I have no idea if these films have an Eng­lish title but an online dic­tio­nary might give you a hint. And please, don’t think I’m being mean or dis­re­spect­ful to her. These films are cult among a cir­cle of connoisseurs.

I used to bump into Katia a few years back, when I start­ed my social life, run­ning from a cock­tail par­ty to anoth­er, in the infa­mous era of the mid nineties (Remem­ber the Spice Girls ?). We have often fought over the last remain­ing snack on a plat­ter (but always in a polite way) so I can con­sid­er her as a friend. I have always been jeal­ous of her because she has always been ahead of her times. Way before Demi Moore, she had some kind of very help­ful part­ner who was car­ry­ing her van­i­ty case in any occa­sion. How glam­orous (and con­ve­nient) is that? But after that, she sort of dis­ap­peared for quite a while and I was wor­ried about her. Thank God, she is back, van­i­ty-case-less, but still deli­cious. I was very relieved for her, and hap­py to see she still sup­ports musi­cal the­atre. Katia, I love you and don’t change a thing, you’re the best.

Any­way, I met her at a read­ing of Jonathan Kerr and Lau­rent Couson’s musi­cal based on Dori­an Gray. The most impres­sive thing about this read­ing was the incred­i­bly excit­ing cast.
Jonathan Kerr (as Basil) exhales a pow­er­ful mas­culin­i­ty, Vin­cent Heden (as Dori­an) is as exquis­ite as ever and should receive an award for his charm­ing smile, and as for new­com­er Gon­zague Réquil­lart (as “The Angel”), I’m will­ing to sit through a mil­lion read­ings in the next six months just to be able to watch his incred­i­ble lips.

Short­ly after that read­ing, I saw the very orig­i­nal one (wo)man show Mon fri­go me trompe, writ­ten and per­formed by Rémi Cot­ta, with music by Lau­rent Cou­son. Cot­ta offers an inter­est­ing per­for­mance, por­tray­ing an over­weight teenage girl, shar­ing her thoughts about life, love and food. At that point, I have to thank my par­ents for my genes and my won­der­ful metab­o­lism that pre­vent me from get­ting obese. Well, until fur­ther notice.

Speak­ing of genes and my Asian her­itage, I’m glad to inform you that I’m head­ing to Cannes Film fes­ti­val. This will be my first time there and I’m very excit­ed? I man­aged to get an accred­i­ta­tion as a film dis­trib­u­tor (which, of course, I’m not, the only thing I dis­trib­ute is a smile, once in a while). My goal is to meet Jury mem­ber Zhang Ziyi. We have a lot in com­mon : we are Asian, young and pret­ty (and I think we both know what we want, just watch her in Crouch­ing Tiger if you don’t believe me). But this lucky b**** is rich, famous and she dates Jake Gyl­len­haal. I have to know her secret. Keep your fin­gers crossed for me.